CLOSET CHRISTIANS

"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

Matthew 6:6

(New International Version)

I don't believe in God. I really don't care if others agree with me. I only care that they respect the relationship I have with the Universe, whether it's through a God, a group of Gods, or woven between the interstices of the space-time continuum contemplated by quantum physics. I believe that having convictions, and being secure in those convictions, means not needing to be validated by the acceptance of others.

I have difficulty calling myself an Atheist, only because I can't prove the non-existence, anymore than anyone can prove the existence, of God. However, I don't like referring to myself as an Agnostic, mostly because it sounds rather smarmy to me; like I'm not sure of what I believe. Mostly, I like to say I'm a Quantum Gestalt Humanist. You figure out what it means. I need to get to my rant.

How many times during the day, while driving to and from work, grocery shopping, dropping the kid(s) off at daycare or school, etc. do you see either those little fish (some plain; some with the greek letters for ichthus, or fish) or a window decal depicting a little girl or boy, or both, supplicating themselves in the shadow of a cross? What are these people trying to say? Is it meant to be some sort of secret code, so Christians can recognize each other across the lanes?

If you listen to some Christians whine and complain about how they're persecuted, you'd have to believe this is their secret, vehicular handshake. These people actually think they're persecuted. WTF? The United States of America is what, something like 90% Christian? They permeate every aspect of society and are represented overwhelmingly in all levels of our government. Christmas, the holiday many of them have taken to complaining is being phased out, effectively lasts for well over 10% of the year, the admonition to wait until after Thanksgiving before decorating notwithstanding.

I'll tell you what I think it is. I think it's the very thing Jesus was saying one shouldn't do in the above quote found in Matthew. I think Jesus knew people whose faith was steadfast had no need to brandish it publicly, as though it were a badge of courage or strength. Indeed, I think those people who feel the necessity of advertising their religion are the least faithful of all.

I'm not exactly a religious scholar, but I think it was Paul of Tarsus who made prosyletizing into a competitive sport. I don't think Jesus would have approved. After all, he was Jewish and Judaism teaches that the most important thing one can do is live a "good" life, that is an ethical, righteous life. It is more important than liturgy or dogma and, therefore, it is one's deeds, not one's words by which we are judged. As a Jew, Jesus would not have found it necessary to convert people, or to preach to them. He was a teacher, not a preacher.

I think Paul felt guilty because he had persecuted and killed so many early Christians and, much like Charles Colson or numerous serial killers who, after lives of despicable and heinous acts, find and accept Jesus as their personal savior, he determined to make amends for the damage he had done. I'm not saying it's a bad thing he repented; only that - like so many true believers - he swung that pendulum just as far in the other direction from where it had been and, therefore, avoided any kind of moderation in his pursuits.

In his book "The Wisdom of Insecurity", Alan Watts discusses the difference between faith and belief. He posits that belief is rigid and unyielding, but faith is open and accepting. People who feel the need to wave their so-called religious convictions in our faces are believers. Faith is beyond their comprehension, because having faith requires an openess to things as they are, not as we wish them to be. These people, these cross-wavers - at least the worst of them - are certain they "know" exactly what truth is, and they are not shy in telling us where our faith leads if it isn't in line with theirs.

I really don't care what religion you are. I expect the same from you. Your religion, your belief, your faith are none of my damn business. However, the moment you start pushing your brand of soap as the only way to be clean, as the only way to live one's life, as the only way to what you believe is the ultimate goal of our existence on this planet, then you've made your religion MY business. You open yourself up for criticism and you deserve every bit of scorn and anger dumped on your judgmental hide.